“Congratulations on starting your new podcast!”
-Everyone you tell about your new podcast
The true-crime podcast industry has exploded over the last decade, resulting in scores of shows competing for the same audience. The fight for listeners has become so fierce that now you need more than just an interesting case to find success.
You need drama.
I’m talking car chases, mysterious phone calls, or maybe even a late-night knock on the door. This amount of titillation is an expectation of your listeners that you must fulfill.
After reaching out to a group of top podcasters in the genre*, I have assembled a list of 5 insider tips that will help give your new true-crime podcast a leg up on the competition.
[*This is a lie]
Here’s the list:
1. You don’t need a crime to have a true-crime podcast
There have been multiple successful true-crime podcasts where they discovered there was no crime at all. They try to position it as if the whole point of the series was to teach listeners that you shouldn’t jump to conclusions with criminal investigations.
This is the coward’s way out.
If you get to whatever small town you choose and find your case to be a dud, just make one up yourself! Remember, it’s not a lie if you can make yourself believe it.
2. Try to give away the identity of your prime suspect without naming them
Thanks to the fat cats in D.C., it’s become legally problematic to accuse people of crimes without evidence. This is easy to get around as long as you don’t name your suspect. If you want my advice, just use a fake name that rhymes with the person’s real name.
As a bonus, this will create tension in the town and make for some great filler on the podcast. It’s incredible how quickly a community will turn on itself once you start implying that some of them may be murderers or con-artists.
3. Don’t be afraid to recklessly share theories throughout the series
Did some nameless Twitter account tell you the government is involved? Think the victim is faking it? Could pedophile socialists be involved? Just put it out there! The more crazy and impulsive theories you put out there, the harder it will be for people to track how many you got right or wrong.
If your “morals” cause this to be difficult, I recommend using some mind-altering drugs to get the creative juices flowing!
4. Towards the end, be sure to get audio of you confronting the final suspect
Thanks to some of the more famous true-crime podcasts, a recorded encounter with whoever you choose as the primary suspect is now a requirement.
This may seem dangerous, but that’s showbiz, baby.
5. When in doubt, blame the police
Thanks to shows like Making a Murderer, most listeners now assume the police are behind most crimes. They expect at least one episode focusing on how bad a job the police did with the investigation. Badger them with calls until someone flips out on you. Nothing more suspicious than a cop yelling at a reporter to get lost.
If the crime is an older one, try to find a retired officer who was involved in the case but is now senile or suffering from dementia. Those people will say anything if you ask the right way.
Now go out there and put these tips to use. Tear apart a community. Ruin lives with half-baked theories. Bring back horrible memories for victims’ families. And most importantly, always put yourself first.
There is no need to thank me for this life-changing information. Sending me a check for $100 is more than enough.
