Dear Elon,
I heard that you are about to be strapped for cash with this whole Twitter thing, so I wanted to reach out with an opportunity that could help turn things around for you. To put it simply, I want to repurpose SpaceX to be a galactic babysitting service.
I do know you were hoping to make it to Mars, but that idea stinks. Sending people on a seven-month trip to a place designed to kill them isn’t a financially sound decision. Helping everyday parents send their kids into space for a few hours is the more intelligent choice. Every day, broken parents are begging for space from their kids, and we have the tools to give it to them literally.
Some will react negatively to the idea, crying about the children’s safety (classic media, am I right?). I believe they’ll realize that space is way safer for kids, given time. It doesn’t have any of the threats that exist here on Earth, such as kidnappers or peanuts, and escape would be impossible.
I’m no scientist, but if Blue Origin can send frail old men up into space, I’m sure it’s safe for SpaceX to send toddlers.
As a parent yourself, you can surely see that this is an untapped market about to explode. Please let me know as soon as you can meet to get this project up and running and start repairing your finances!
Love,
Michael “Money Maker” Savio
P.S. I have tickets to the Bucks playoff game next weekend, so it’d be great if we were up and running by then.
