Milwaukee, WI- A Wisconsin father’s concentration was tragically broken early Sunday afternoon as a loud crash rang out from the upstairs. While he knew his 2- and 4-year-olds had gone running upstairs to play, he felt pretty sure that was unrelated to the crash. Still, he sat silently frozen to listen for any sign of a whimper. While his heart went out to his two children, he was also absolutely crushing this racing game he just got for his new Playstation 5. “They’d be crying if they were involved in that crash, no question” the dad stated aloud to no one, in an attempt to ease his conscious for not going upstairs. “If the kids were injured and needed help, they would be crying. If they aren’t crying, then that either means they are fine or have been knocked out cold which I can’t do anything about anyway.”
As he finished his third racing tournament, the dad was becoming increasingly concerned by the continued silence coming from upstairs. As many parents know, few things are scarier than prolonged silence. Even though every bone in his body told him to go up and check what hell was being unleashed on the second floor, he still made one last desperate attempt to silently listen for any sign of life from either child. With bated breath he listened until he heard something even more bone-chilling than silence: his 2-year-old’s evil laugh. “Sweet mother of Mary, they got into the paints!” yelled the dad as he jumped from his recliner and dashed up the stairs. Sadly, the dad’s fears were realized to be true as he walked into an orgy of color that had formally been the upstairs bathroom.
As of press time, the father was seen despondently surfing the Facebook pages of his childless friends.
