Many of the safety protocols enacted since 2020 have turned day-to-day living into an introvert’s paradise. Gone were the days of claustrophobic trips to the grocery store and awkward small talk with strangers. It was an age where you were called a hero for canceling plans with your friends to stay home. Finally, the world was playing by our rules.
As we continue to emerge from pandemic life and a sense of normalcy returns, it marks the end of a social golden age for introverts. While some items on this list will continue long after COVID, it’s now clear their peaks have passed. Here are the top 5 things that, at their height, made 2020–2022 a wonderland for introverts across the globe.
#5) Masks
Whoa, pretty controversial start Mikey boy. The thing is, I’m very self-conscious when out in public. The idea of being able to cover up my face at a store was a fantasy I thought would forever be out of reach. In 2019 I actually tried to visit a Chase Bank with a bandana covering my face, and now I can’t vote.
Once mask mandates started, going out masked suddenly became acceptable. My entire world changed and, for the first time, I actually felt comfortable going out in public! Sadly, wearing a mask became too much of a political statement so I’m ready for this era to be over. If nothing else, there is now precedent for me to cover my face in public if I prefer to. That’s progress, baby.
#4) Curbside Services
So you’re telling me that instead of waiting inside a stinky, noisy vet’s office, I can drop my dog off and sit in my car? Instead of watching anxious animals lash out at each other for 30 minutes, I can listen to Harry Potter and mindlessly scroll through Medium in comfort? No more awkward small talk with employees or other customers. You even call and pay over the phone. The only human interaction is for handoffs. The way it really should be.
Then there were places like Walgreens that would do the shopping for you if you ordered it at the pharmacy window. You could even get a vasectomy done via a drive-thru clinic. Sure the waits would usually be much longer, but I’ll sacrifice whatever time is needed to avoid being stuck waiting in a public place. I knew these services wouldn’t last forever, but the peak of this felt so god damn good.
Did I mention that I hate going out in public?
#3) Working From Home
This was something that, at first, was quite scary. At the time, it felt like the world was ending as we didn’t really know what COVID was all about. As time passed and the fear dissipated, I saw the real possibility of being able to work without leaving my home. Not having to go into a workplace 5+ days a week is most certainly on the Mount Rushmore of Introvert Goals. Suddenly, it became commonplace.
Job websites had dedicated sections of their websites to work-from-home jobs. Companies like Goldman Sachs even entertained the idea of keeping a remote workforce even after the pandemic ends. Unfortunately, the spineless cowards have now abandoned this dream and decided to start phasing employees back into the office. While the work-from-home jobs are still out there, it looks like the age of the brick-and-mortar office will continue.
#2) Food and Grocery Delivery
These apps weren’t invented during the pandemic, but it certainly accelerated their growth. Apps like GrubHub and DoorDash were around already, but there was never a legitimate excuse to spend the extra money to have one of these services deliver something you could just go get. Then COVID hit, and suddenly everyone had an excuse. People began buying UberEats and GoPuff coupons as gifts for their loved ones.
Then there were apps like Instacart that have someone go grocery shopping for you. Few places in this world stress me out more than the grocery store. The person who invented this should have a statue in Washington, D.C. Put him right next to Lincoln. Maybe even make him bigger. That’s how much I hate grocery shopping.
#1) Social Distancing
When in a crowd, I feel like I’m slowly dying. The closer strangers get to me, the more I feel my chest constrict. My palms begin to sweat. Breaths feel shallower. I feel the awareness of my surroundings start to slip away.
After the pandemic hit, the idea of social distancing quickly followed. The idea that we should remain at least 6 feet away from each other is like being magically granted mini-restraining orders on everyone. Lines that once were 10 feet with people smushed together now stretched over 100 leisurely feet. I felt like this wherever I went, regardless of the crowd size.
